Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

It’s here now, writing to you.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

Only 1,280 Survived: The Near-Extinction Event That Nearly Wiped Out Humanity 1 Million Years Ago - The Daily Galaxy

I was tired of trying and failing.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

Any straight men had a gay experience in the past? What was it and how did you feel?

It’s still here.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

346 Million-Year-Old Fossil Rewrites the Story of Life on Land - SciTechDaily

Be who you already are.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

You are like me, then.

Which unexpected celebrity has done a bold or revealing photoshoot?

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

How do you identify a fake whey protein gold standard?

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

The sadness was still there.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

What are some good books on AI ethics?

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Qantas to close low-cost arm Jetstar Asia - CNN

I was tired of fighting.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Why do I randomly start sweating a lot in public (while waiting in line, in a new class, etc.) then start sweating more because I’m embarrassed that I’m sweating so much? Is this social anxiety?

And the sadness?

I had run out of hope.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Are judges being lenient on hard criminals?

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.